Love Unfolding

It is 11:30 PM and as I decide to write this blog, I am reminded how time flies and how things can change in a blink of an eye. Can you believe it?

 I am 33 weeks pregnant!!!

I cannot even begin to put into words how this whole experience has been and is going but let me just start by saying, "Thank you Jesus" that despite my doubts and fears, You are seeing me and my daughter through. 

Now, I will attempt to document some milestones of this pregnancy so that someday it can refresh my memory and who knows Iya might also read this someday :)

1st week of July

I was about 4-6 weeks delayed when I dragged Betchie to dollar tree to buy me 3 pregnancy tests which all turned out to be positive (+) (+) (+). Due to my previous experiences, I did not jump into any conclusions yet and did not even tell Bryan right away. I did not feel any nausea but I did notice that I felt tired and extremely sleepy most of the time and my appetite decreased. 

July 13, 2015

Our first OB appointment (a day before Bryan's birthday)! My anxiety vanished when me and Bryan saw our lil bub's heart beating away (at 150 bpm) on the ultrasound monitor. When you think you know what love is, wait till you hear your baby's heart beat for the first time <3

Left: Baby Iya at 11 weeks
Right: at McBurney Falls for Bryan's mini birthday getaway

October 4, 2015
Today is gender reveal day! We invited family and close friends for a small party at my parent's house to celebrate the occasion. No one, not even me & Bryan, knew the baby's gender before today's event so one can imagine our excitement. We had a cake made with the instructions to construct the inside with blue filling if the baby was a boy or pink filling if she was a girl (so technically only the baker knew the baby's gender beforehand). Honestly, we thought it was a boy but tadaa! God gave us a baby girl and we are forever thankful <3


What could our baby be?

Pink or Blue, We love You!

We love you baby girl!

November 2015

My favorite days are when we visit the OB because we see our baby girl move around. Otherwise, I don't feel her as much which causes me to worry (and in turn drives Bryan crazy because I get so moody lol). I love our daily walks in the park because that's the only time I get to go outdoors usually unless we go out of town which is rare nowadays since I cannot move around too much plus we need to save up for our li'l princess. We also started our baby gift registry which proved to be challenge- didn't know babies need so much stuff!

Amazing experience at the Rise lantern festival!
Made a wish for you baby girl and prayers for your two angel siblings <3

Daddy very tired at Babies r Us lol :D

December 2015

This month proved to be busy with all the holiday preparations but so thankful because the whole family got to be together. My stomach is getting bigger but so is our excitement. As for OB visits, a few more tests are being done since my blood pressure is getting higher but me and Iya are getting along fine with God's grace, Daddy's support (who by the way never missed a single OB appointment) and a lot of care from friends and family. Truly the greatest gift anyone can give and receive is love. 

Bibay Family

Macam Family

January 3, 2015
Today is our baby shower which was held at the Metro Galleries from 3-7 pm. Despite the hectic preparations, I am once again so blessed to be surrounded by family and friends who helped me out and a lot more who attended and showered Iya with gifts. The party was full of laughter, games and food. We are so loved and for this me and Bryan's hearts are filled to the brim. 

January 18, 2015
The past few weeks have been tough as my blood pressure has been steadily rising and I constantly have to go through frequent doctor appointments, one hospital trip and various laboratory tests. Today, one of my worst fears have been confirmed - that I do have preeclampsia as evidenced by high blood pressure and proteinuria. Iya though is doing great and always moving around as if she always wants to assure her crazy mother that she is fine. Lol. Most of all, Bryan has been so patient with my panic attacks. I cannot ask for a better partner. Thank you Lord because despite my frailties, we know that everything is under your control.

to be continued...

Planning the obvious. Enjoying the unexpected.

Below is a rough draft our our Hawaii itinerary. I always do one for any major trip that we take because it saves us time and keeps me from forgetting things. Especially when planning group vacations, I make this to show people a glimpse of what each day is going to look like and how much the anticipated expenses are. On this trip it was just me and my husband but he likes my written itineraries a lot so I made one for our reading pleasure haha.  This time I figured out that if I write down what I'm going to wear for the day (in accordance to the planned activities) then it will save me more time HAHA (and I also pack it in order of which I am wearing first so I don't dig through my luggage everyday). I know it looks funny but hey it works lol. Of course, nothing is written in stone but its a good guide. 

Anyway, plan ahead if you must but always have an open heart for surprises and enjoy the beauty of spontaneity. Life is exciting <3

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BUNNIES GO TO OAHU

June 3-10, 2015

June 3, Wednesday

(outfit- black top/green shorts)

0600: LAX parking- BOOKED

(Custom Hotel)

0840: Depart LAX

1115: Arrive HNL

https://www.expedia.com/trips/1104313002302

1200: Get Rental Car- BOOKED

(Alamo)

(drive 18.2 miles, 25 mins)

1600: Check in- 197 Kaha St., Kailua, HI 96734- BOOKED

*need to go grocery shopping for breakfast items/snacks

June 4, Thursday

(outfit: flower printed top/denim shorts/bathing suit)

North Shore trip

(drive 15.3 miles, 29 mins)

0930: Dole Plantation

http://www.dole-plantation.com/

$30

(drive 11.4 miles, 16 mins)

1100: Waimea Falls Hike

http://www.waimeavalley.net/admissions

$32

(drive 6.2 miles, 10 mins)

1200: Giovanni’s food truck
http://www.giovannisshrimptruck.com

(drive 0.8 miles, 2 mins)

Matsumoto Shaved Ice

http://matsumotoshaveice.com/

(drive 2.3 miles, 5 mins)

1300: Laniakea Beach/turtle beach

(or stop by sunset beach-pipeline)

(drive 2.6 miles, 5 mins)

Ted’s bakery

http://www.tedsbakery.com/

(drive 23.1 miles, 38 mins)

1500: Tropical farms tour

http://www.macnutfarm.com/

$40

(drive 13.7 miles, 27 mins)

Home

June 5, Friday

(outfit: printed top/blue shorts)

(drive 14.5 miles, 28 mins)

0800: Kualoa Ranch- BOOKED

http://www.kualoa.com/

1 hour ATV tour

90 mins Movie site tour

90 mins Jungle tour

Ranch buffet lunch

$280.84

*optional- 1900: Waikiki fireworks

$40

June 6, Saturday

(outfit: white dress)

(drive 26.3 miles, 47 mins)

1200: Polynesian Cultural Center- BOOKED

http://www.polynesia.com

6 island villages & exhibits

Tram tour

Canoe rides/pageants

Flower lei

Luau dinner buffet & show

“Ha: breathe of life” show

$185.42

June 7, Sunday

(outfit: green pants/white top)

(drive 16.7 miles, 25 mins)

0700: Pearl Harbor Visitor Center

http://www.nps.gov/valr/planyourvisit/index.htm

*arrive early for free tickets

(drive 18.9 miles, 41 mins)

1000: St Augustine by the sea

http://www.staugustinebythesea.com/

1200: Ala Moana Mall

June 8, Monday

(outfit: flower dress/bathing suit)

(drive 15.9 miles, 30 mins)

0800: Hanauma Bay Snorkling

http://www.hanaumabaystatepark.com/hanauma-bay-snorkeling/

$44

1400: Parasailing

$75

1500: Jet Ski?

$100

1700: Kailua Beach

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        

June 9, Tuesday

(outfit: orange shorts)

0800: Diamond Head crater hiking

June 10, Wednesday

(outfit: blue top/destroyed jeans)

1500: depart HNL

2300: arrive LAX

Broken but Hopeful

My name is Aya.

I am 27 years old. 

I am married to a wonderful man and we live together in a cozy apartment. 

I am a Registered Nurse by trade, and armed with a Master's degree as well. 

I have a family who loves me dearly.

In a way, I may be successful by the world's standards. 

Yet, just like any other person, I am not spared from heartaches. Today, I write about it not because of self-pity or anger. I want my suffering to be known so that through my weakness, the name of Jesus will be magnified. Someday, I want to read about the trials in my life and remember how He carried me through. My God has always been faithful in my life. I would never want to have any reason to doubt that. 

August of 2014, I had my first miscarriage. This was the first blow to our marriage. Although the baby was only 6 weeks old, it was life within me that was lost. This kind of loss baffled me and left me lost for words. I didn't know how to deal with it. All I knew was that I could not wallow in this misery. I have to bounce back right away- get back to work, be a good wife and be normal. 

March of 2015, I lost my baby for the second time. At merely 9 weeks, I had to medically induce my miscarriage since the fetus has not been growing for awhile. I did not even hear a heartbeat. I could not believe it. I mean, it has only been 6 months since I lost the first one and here we are again, sitting in the doctor's office and hearing the news all over again. I looked at my husband's face as the doctor explained the situation and although he tried to hide it, I saw the pain and struggle in his face and this was more than I could bear. I would never want to hurt the love of my life. 

God does not give problems that we cannot handle. Still, I asked Him- "What makes You think I can handle two miscarriages in a row?" Maybe He thinks I am strong enough to handle this but I feel so weak. I feel so incompetent. Yet I pray God will forgive me for my doubts and fears. May His strength shine through in my infirmities. 

Truly, no matter what happens, the world still continues to turn. It will not stop just because we feel disabled or weak. Life does go on. Despite that, I am thankful because He is carrying me through this ever- changing and uncertain life on earth. I am thankful because my parents have raised me in a way that when problems arise, I know who I can count on. I am thankful because I know who my real friends are. I am thankful because I have a partner in life through thick and thin. Now, I am even more thankful because I have two more angels watching from above. 

For every painful situation, may we never lose insight. 

For the trials that are yet to come, may we never lose Hope.

For the triumphs that arise, may we never lose ground. 

Out of a broken spirit, may a phoenix always rise. 

Settling down and moving up

Dinner was successful. The floors are clean. The dishes are put away. 

Now the aroma of my peach-scented candle is filling the room.

So I guess its safe to say that I can write a bit before I move on to the next task. 

Although alone (Bryan went to work already), I find the sense of peace when I get to write and reflect on the wonder of being alive and how blessed I am. We have been married for close to two months now and boy what an adventure it has been. There has never been a dull moment. It is a such a joy to take on challenges as a couple. Even the simple task of cooking has taught us how to work as a team and even though we do not go out as much as we used to, its amazing how happy you can get while just sitting in the couch and laughing at jokes that only the two of you get. 

This month has been filled with adventures as we celebrated Bryan's 30th birthday. Although I have been trying to be frugal since we got married, I always will give Bryan the best of what we have. First, we had a fun night with friends over yummy food and drinks. Then the following night which was the eve of his birthday we surprised him at an intimate surprise party at Firehouse's VIP pool table room. The next day we had a family trip to Sequoia National Park. Lastly, we had a safari experience at Monterey's Vision Quest Ranch. 

Life indeed has beautiful surprises everywhere and I think the loveliest of them all are the relationships that we have with the people around us. Despite the drastic changes in my life, I never though that being married would hold me down.I am indeed settling down and accepting that there are things that I cannot do anymore as a married woman but definitely ready for more adventures and challenges. I am having the time of my life- may it be when I am cooking dinner and folding laundry at the same time or when I am outside town exploring a new place. 

Settling down for me does not mean the cessation of growth. It just means finding peace in where you are and knowing that no matter what happens in life, you can always go back to this place- to a home where your heart is. 

So yes, I have settled down but I- I mean "we" are moving up <3

When things fall into place

I am a dreamer. 

Ever since I was young, I have always daydreamed about what my life would be 10 years from now. Living for the moment is exciting but there is something about the future that always captivates my thoughts and actions. Don't get me wrong- I still squander today like there is no tomorrow- I am known for that, but then I always go back to my goals. 

I know where I want to be. 

Eleven days to be exact, I graduated from grad school- obtaining my Masters in Nursing-Family Nurse Practitioner degree. The stress was unimaginable but in a blink of an eye, 2 years passed and then here I am. Working and earning money has never been one of my passions but going to school is a huge part of me. I cannot imagine life without school. I remember crying after I finished my RN degree because I felt that when I don't go to school it is as if my life ended already. I mean I've been studying ever since I can remember. Good thing learning is a lifetime process. I don't ever want it to end. 

Four days ago, I married my bestfriend. It is still surreal. I have not even processed my academic achievement yet and here I am- watching my husband sleep and marveling at this feeling that I can't explain. In my next blogs, I will elaborate more on how I feel as a newly wed but for now, I just want to say a few words and enjoy this moment. Truly, there is such a thing as a little heaven here on earth. 

Then I realized, all the twists, ditches and unexpected turns in life does lead you to where you are supposed to be. 

This is where I want to be now. 

It doesn't mean that this will be where I am forever. Life is not meant to be stagnant. We have to keep moving. There is always something to look forward to...

but for now, this will do <3

"Live, let live & love, the rest will fall into place" 

There's no rewind, no replay

Have you ever experienced driving home after a long day and wondering "How the heck did I get here?". Although instances like this are normal (especially if you work a 12-hour shift like me), I think it's a sad thought when one day you realize that everything happened so fast in your life that you can't remember how you got to where you are. 

My name is Aya & I'm 26 years old. Ever since I was in 3rd grade I have always journaled almost on a daily basis up until I started my RN program 7 years ago. Truly, it is so hard to sum up the last 7 years wherein so much has happened. Life is indeed like an hour glass glued to the table. Even though I cannot turn back time nor can I foresee the future, I am truly thankful for everything that has happened in my life and even more thankful for what is ahead of me. God has been so good, I really have nothing to complain about. 

The last 7 years, I feel like I have been over speeding on freeway. In this short amount of time that seemed  like forever, I have gotten 3 degrees (RN-BSN-MSN) among all the other stuff that I've been doing. So now even though I still feel the urge to continue zooming ahead (especially that I am 31 days to be exact to being married), I am writing this blog to remind myself to slow down and enjoy the ride. As the common cliche' goes, "Life is a journey, not a destination"

I don't want to let moments just pass me by. It scares the heck out of me to grow old and one day realize that I have not accomplished anything because really, at the end of the day I know it's not my degrees, career or money that will define me. Let me take the time to fully inhale what every day has to offer me and never miss any opportunity to live, learn and love. 

Teach us Lord to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom

Psalm 90:12